Saturday, April 30, 2005

Beth & Melissa Win!

this is an audio post - click to play


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The Race is On

this is an audio post - click to play


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Friday, April 29, 2005

Race Day is Here!

The Tennessee Valley Amazing Race is almost ready to begin. The teams are all set and ready to go! Before we begin, you might enjoy a viewing of our very own intro show that is similar to the television series (click here to view it; hopefully it works) On the screen, just click the image with the caption "Online Intro." To view it, you have to download a special browser plug-in. Also, remember to check on the website tomorrow sometime after noon and get updated on all the action that takes place via audio posts (that is if AudioBlogger decides to cooperate). Of course, after the race, there will be pictures posted here. Should be fun!

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Doubles Partners



JENNIFER & BRIAN

DOUBLES PARTNERS

Jennifer & Brian are semi world famous tennis doubles partners that is looking to demonstrate their great athletic ability on the Amazing Race. Ever since this duo connected, they have been inseparable. This team, however, did not start their careers with tennis. Their original sport was African wildlife hunting in Texas. This job was daunting, though, since the most wildlife they could find were "chippies" in the West Side district of Dallas. They did take up the job of Texas Rangers for a while, but they were forced to leave after they accidently ate Chuck Norris's rib-eye steaks while on the set of Walker Texas Ranger. Jennifer & Brian then went on the after-school specials circuit and taught the students the dangers of eating rib-eye steaks that belong to Chuck Norris. After two years of teaching America's youth, they decided to take up another career. This is when they started their upward journey through the world of tennis. After a few years of training, they were ready to compete with the big dogs. This duo went on to win many highly regarded matches, such as Wimbledon, the US Open, and the Australian Open. They had their Wimbledon title and prize money revoked, though, after Jennifer accidently slammed Billie Jean King in the head with her racquet. Jennifer claims that it was an accident but the investigation never fully concluded. This team is looking forward to the race and slamming their way to victory.

AMAZING RACE, TOMORROW @ NOON

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Thursday, April 28, 2005

Moped Helmets


The Schickimicki Girls are looking for their moped helmet business boom after their appearance on the Amazing Race. Look above for a sampling of the beautiful products they offer.

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Chair Restorers



BRIAN & BRITTANY

CHAIR RESTORERS

Brian & Brittany have much fame from their work as chair restorers and are ready to use their great refurbishing skills while competeting on the race. These two started their restoration training at a very young age. While still in high school, this team studied this art under the apprenticeship under home improvement guru Bob Villa. They graduated this program with top honors and earned a $200 gift certificate to Sears. After graduating, the two started their own business called Heronians Chair Restoring etc, which was named in honor of their homeland, The Isle of Heron. This team has received much attention from the the well-to-do of Hollywood. It is reported that they have refurbished the furniture of many megastars, such as Bog Saget, Cher, and Wayne Newton. Bob Saget enjoyed their work so much that they were contracted to design the set of the long running television series America's Funniest Home Videos. Brian & Brittany's friendship hit a hard spot during the 2004 Presidental election, but everything was resolved once they discovered what is now lovingly referred to as "The Chair." This project has been the heart and soul of this team for quite a while and there is talk that the Smithsonian Institute is considering to include this masterpiece in the Smithsonian American Art Museum. Brian & Brittany are determined to win the Amazing Race and plan to make the other teams awe not only at their chairs but also at their amazing racing abilities.

AMAZING RACE, SATURDAY @ NOON

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Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Schickimicki Girls



CAREY & BRITTANY

SCHICKIMICKI GIRLS

The Schickimicki Girls cannot wait to win ultimate honor and glory by being the first team to arrive at the end of the Amazing Race. These German fashion designers first came to America a few years ago to display their revolutionary styles to designers in New York and Los Angeles. Their clothes were a hit with all the industry insiders! They do not design ordinary clothes, however; they design fashion moped helmets. Yes, you read that right: moped helmets. These specially designed helmets are the rage among today's hottest moped riders. Even though this team is known for their stylish designs, they certainly shouldn't be underestimated; this team plans on strutting their stuff Saturday and overcoming their opponents in the process.

AMAZING RACE, SATURDAY @ NOON

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TAR7/EP9: Gnomes in Turkey


EPISODE 8
The teams left India for Instanbul, Turkey, this week. Uchenna & Joyce and the grandparents make a critical move while at the airport waiting for their connecting flight. They were able to get on a plane that landed two hours earlier in Turkey. This left a two-hour gap between these two teams and Rob & Amber and Ron & Kelly. The reality TV superstars, along with the POW & the beauty queen, tried to get a quicker flight but were told there were none. The race ended with Uchenna & Joyce holding onto their first place position with Ron & Kelly coming in last. This was a non-elimination leg, however. They were surprised to found out that they won a prize by picking the right Travelocity gnome during one of the tasks. They won $20000 dollares to spend on the website along with a night's stay in a suite that was in a very classy hotel.

MAINTAINING MOMENTUM
Uchenna & Joyce have been the underdogs throughout most of this race, but their luck has been changing. Last week, they successful completed the Fast Forward and achieved a crucial first placing for the married couple. They once again repeat last week's feat by finshing first once again, which proves that they do not have to totally rely on the Fast Forward to get the top spot. By winning the first position in the last two legs, they have greatly increased their chances of winning. Sure, it is great to get ahead in the beginning, but its really at the end when it truely matters. With these placings so close to the end, Uchenna & Joyce have achieved some great momentum to move them to the million dollars. They have achieved the first placings when it really counts; sadly, they never got a prize. I am really starting to like this team a lot. Throughout the race, they have been wonderful to each other and with the other racers. They have shown us what ordinary people can do when put in extreme situations, which is the original ideal of the race. They certainly have earned the million dollars.

REVERSAL OF FORTUNE

Teams Rob & Amber and Ron & Kelly have really taken a turn for the worse during this crucial period of the race. During their trip around the world, both teams have consistently been doing well at the race and accomplishing great placings at the end of the legs. Things appear to be changing, though. These teams have moved from the head of the pack to being left in the dust by teams that were thought to be "weak." Last night, Rob even commented that "Uchenna is stupid." Well, he was totally shocked when he found out that Uchenna & Joyce along with the grandparents had got on a flight much earlier than his & Amber's. We saw this with Colin & Kristie in TAR5; they accomplished much at the beginning but blundered in the final legs. These teams seem to be in trouble and really need to kick it up a bit to achieve total victory.

GNOMES ROCK!

The task to find the gnomes last night was the best part of the race! (well, along with the expression on Rob's face after finding out he was far behind the underdogs)

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Improving Foreign Relations


Bush was spotted at his Texas ranch on Monday "improving foreign relations" with Saudi Arabia's Crown Prince Abdullah. After the two had a heart-to-heart conversation on the current oil crisis, the two took a stroll through a field of Texas bluebonnets holding hands. Awww, that's so cute. Wait a minute?! That's two guys! Wait! Aren't these two one of the most conservative leaders in the world?! I don't know what you think, but this might hurt Bush's conservative stance. Maybe it was bet Bush had with Condoleezza. Who knows? (Thanks, Brittany, for pointing that one out)





Father/Daughter



ADAM & COURTNEY

FATHER/DAUGHTER

This father/daughter team comes to the race being a well-traveled team. They have been to all continents and plan on continuing their adventures after the race through East Tennessee. This family team do not limit their travels to simple sightseeing treks; they have moved beyond the traditional family vacation. Two years ago, the two spent two months living with an Aborigine tribe in Australia. They took part in many native rituals, which they say was an experience that they wish to erase from their memories. During these months, the two got very close to the people, and the chief of the tribe deemed them Honorary Aborigines. They eventually were forced to leave, however, during the American League Championship Series between the Boston Red Socks and New York Yankees. Lets just say that Adam & Courtney did not necessarily agree with the opinion of the Aborigine people on this matter, and the chief stripped the two of their titles and forced them into exile back to America. After that, the two took an adventure to the Alaskan wilderness that unfortunately resulted in freek accident that involved a rope, a GPS navigator, Janet Jackson, and a moose (details were not given). Adam & Courtney are excited about the race and plan to overcome their squeaky-clean, family image to win over the other four teams.

AMAZING RACE, SATURDAY @ NOON

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Monday, April 25, 2005

Pro Wrestlers



BETH & MELISSA

PRO WRESTLERS

Beth & Melissa are eager for the Tennessee Valley Amazing Race. They threaten to wrestle their competition and win ultimate glory and honor. Beth & Melissa have been lifelong friends; this duo started their wrestling career by becoming the showgirls of Sizzling Steve and Pablo "Mucho Grande" Calabasa. These antsy girls got tired of sitting on the sidelines, though. Officials at the Wide World Wrestling Championship Extreme soon noticed their great wrestling abilities and put them in the limelight for a new women's tag-team wrestling competition. They have been tag-team wrestling partners ever since, and they have won five championship belts. This team comes to the Race with a history of victory, and they plan to continue that streak.

AMAZING RACE, SATURDAY @ NOON

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New Header...Yay!

If you haven't noticed, I have a new, changing header at the top of my blog. I wanted to make it a little more original than the common, Blogger template. If it doesn't look right on your computer screen, inform me please so I can make it better. This is a part of a few different changes I have been making and plan to continue to make in the future. Stay tuned!

What Next?


Amazing Race 7 is definitley winding down, which is quite hard to believe. Seems like yesterday I was just talking about the premiere. We are now down to four teams, Meredith & Gretchen, Uchenna & Joyce, Rob & Amber (boo!), and Ron & Kelly. I'm not quite sure what the producers are going to do. A promo yesterday said that there are 3 episodes left (even though the leaderboard on the TAR website says that there are 12 episodes total). I bet that we can expect one or two more non-elimination legs. It all depends on how CBS decided to wrap up the season. If we have a two-hour finale with two legs included, we can definitely expect two more of these non-elimination episodes. Maybe they have decided to do something totally different. Host Phil told us in interviews at the beginning of the season that there will be many surprises. We already have saw quite a few. Maybe the producers plan on giving us another surprising ending. The only thing that I know is that the teams are going to Turkey tomorrow night with some neck-to-neck competition. Right now, I would love to see any team win except Rob & Amber. I do admit that Rob has played the game very well; he has been very clever throughout the race. I just don't like the idea that these two already have well over a million dollars. Frankly, they don't need more. I think other teams definitely deserve the money much more than these two. Uchenna & Joyce has struggled financially with their procedures to have children that always failed and their employment with MCI/Worldcom and Enron. Now that's a team that I think that could definitely use the money. In other news, I was informeded that Ray & Deana are now engaged. I didn't see that one coming!

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Friday, April 22, 2005

Jeff City Satellite


I found this on Google today; I must say that it is awesome! This is a satellite image of Jefferson City, the city where I go to college. Click here to see a better image.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Coming April 30th



COMING APRIL 30TH

STARTS AT NOON

Be sure to check the blog on April 30th to keep track of all the TN Valley Amazing Race action. I'll be updating throughout the day via AudioBlogger (if it actually works this time). Should be lots of fun! Check in next week when I introduce the teams.

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No More Macbeth!

It's finally over; no more Macbeth! I finally turned in my 15 page research paper this morning, and I can't be happier than to turn it in! I'm sick of that stupid play! I feel free from this huge burden that has been on my back for a quite a while now! The rest of the semester doesn't look that bad now! Thought you all would like to know.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

TAR7/EP8: Lost Hair in India


EPISODE 8
The leg of the race in India finally came to an end last night. Uchenna & Joyce ended up first at the pit stop, but Joyce made a huge sacrifice to get that spot. The boyfriends are out, ending a much longer than expected run on the race. Here are some highlights of the evening.

ULTIMATE SACRIFICE
Joyce definitely made the ultimate sacrifice last night for the team. They headed towards the last Fast Forward of the race without knowing what the task would entail. When they finally arrived after getting lost for quite a while, they found out the task involved shaving off all hair. Uchenna didn't have to worry about it because he was already bald, but it was a different story for Joyce. She had a head FULL of hair; one could deduce easily that this had taken years to grown out. Uchenna was more than willing to back out for her because he didn't want her to go through something that she didn't want to do. She did not hesitate, though, and firmly told the cutter to start. (such a great husband; always there to support her) As they cut the hair, she broke down in tears, but Uchenna was there to support her through it. They definitely made a wise decision, unlike the models in season 5 that opted out of such a task and ended last in a non-elimination round. I must say that this task may give us a preview of the end. This team displayed that they are definitely willing to do whatever it takes to win the race. This also put the team in a much needed spot. There are only four teams left with the final leg coming very soon. Uchenna & Joyce has never got a first place finish throughout the race. Their placing last night put them in a great spot to be in! This will give them momentum to continue the race and be a competitive team. This task, with some Race luck, might help them win it all. We'll just have to wait and see. We know that Chip & Kim received some momentum at the end of TAR5 that helped them win the million dollars. I must say that they certainly are deserving. GO UCHENNA & JOYCE!

ELEPHANTS & RECORDS
The grandparents in this race are definitely not the brightest bulbs on the shelf, but they certainly are determined! It was so funny last night during their detour task where they had to push a heavy fake elephant on wheels down a crowded street. One of the locals, for no apparent reason, sold Gretchen to get on top. For some strange reason, she listened despite the other teams not doing such and the instructions not saying anything about it. So here is her very old husband that is basically having a heart attack while she is relaxing on the top. It was so funny! Despite their lack of common sense, this team is a very (surprisingly) strong team! Can you believe how far they have gone?! They have had their belongings taken, they have suffered head injuries (that might explain the elephant thing), and have suffered in the tasks. Despite all of this, they always rescue themselves in the end and finish each leg better than the last. I certainly don't see them winning it all, but they certainly have proved themselves! Also, Phil (the host) informed them that they are the oldest team to ever make it so far in the Amazing Race.

NO MORE GIGGLES OR DANCING
The boyfriends Lynn & Alex got eliminated last night despite being ahead of the grandparents. Their cab driver made a critical mistake and let them off at the wrong place that they thought was the Pit Stop. When they finally came towards the mat in their "usual manner," Phil informed them that they had been eliminated. I thought that these had some great humor to the race, but its time to get serious now that we are down to the last few teams. They informed us in a tearful, heartfelt moment that this was the best experience ever. Thanks for the humor, guys!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

New Pope

GERMAN CARDINAL

JOSEPH RATZINGER

BENEDICT THE 16TH

Breaking Pope News!

WHITE SMOKE!

POPE ELECTED

Mauvaise Union européenne: Part 2


I posed with some great questions regarding my last post on the European Union. Why am I scared of a new, powerful Europe? Why do I like the dominination of the United States? I admit I was vague last time and didn't explain myself that well. My answer has two parts. I am not against another nation being as powerful as the United States; I have no problem with that. The problem I have with Europe becoming a powerful nation state is that the Europeans hate Americans. It's a know fact that most of these people cannot stand our country and our people (despite the countless times we have came to their aid to prevent their destruction). I really do not want these people to be as powerful as the US if they are going to hate us. I would have no objections to friendly nations, such as Japan or Australia, becoming a powerful force in the world. We could peacefully coexist with those type of nations; however, I don't feel we can with Europe. Imagine the countless disputes that would be between the two nations. It just wanted be a good relationship. Of course, the two nations would officially be allies out in the open but behind the curtains we will be at war. I'm sure the United States has bullied nations that we just don't like or we feel superior over. I feel that those instances we were in the wrong. We're learning, though. We are a relatively young country and are still learning things. Another reason of my fear of one strong powerful European nation is a religious one. The Bible tells us that at the end there will be one world nation with one currency and one language. This is happening in Europe; they already have one currency system and are moving towards one language. I know I shouldn't be scared about the end times, but I can't help but not looking forward to the end of the world or seeing it develop before my eyes.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Room Assignments

Room assignsments at CN are finally over! Such a nerve wrecking experience that I certainly did not enjoy! Students are allowed to pick their room first by number of credit hours then by a lottery. I have been so nervous over the past few days that we would be stuck with a horrible room. Both of us have been nervous wrecks! Luckily, my roommate got a low number, and we got the room that we wanted with ease. Thank goodness! Lots of work to do; gotta go! (I will respond to the EU post when I have more time)

Sunday, April 17, 2005

My English

This is actually a bit surprising for me. I bet if they heard me they would think differently!



Your Linguistic Profile:



55% General American English

25% Dixie

15% Yankee

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Midwestern


Mauvaise Union européenne


Looks like the European Union is getting a tad antsy over the French. Opinion polls indicate that the French people will reject the EU Constitution in a referendum on May 29. According to AFP news, 56 percent of voters oppose the measure. This constitution has been in the works for quite a few years now. This is the Union's effort to become basically one huge nation that covers the entire continent. I really hope that the French people vote against the measure. If one nation does not accept the Constitution, the entire document is scrapped and leaders can not come up with another one for quite a while. This thing scares me to death. Imagine how powerful the nation of Europe would be. They could boss us around like nobody's business; they already have in a few trade disputes. I like the way Europe is right now; let's just keep it that way. EU = danger.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

NYC2012


Support the Olympic movement in New York! On July 6, the International Olympic Committee will decide between New York, London, Paris, Madrid, and Moscow to host the 2012 Summer Olympics. The international battle lines are being set and each of these cities are ready to battle to the end for the honor to host the summer games. I firmly support New York for the bid, and I hope that they are picked for this gathering of nations. You can pledge your support for NYC by signing the online petition by clicking here. Support the Olympic dream in New York! If NY gets it for 2012, I will buy everyone tickets to the Opening Ceremony (not really, but I'll probably be there!).

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Baseball's Back!



WELCOME HOME

NATIONALS!


The tradition of the Presidental first pitch is back again in Washington, where it belongs. This photo looks a tad awkward, doesn't it?

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

TAR7: No Changes


As you see, there are no changes to the Amazing Race section of the sidebar. Last night, the leg of the race did not end; they are still going! That means no one was sent to sequesterville and no one arrived first. Right now, they are in India, and it looks like they will be there again next week. The teams currently stand as follows: Rob & Amber, Ron & Kelly, Uchenna & Joyce, Lynn & Alex, Meredith & Gretchen.

An Open State Government?


Tennessee's government, or legislature at least, look like it is opening its doors a little bit more. For years, our state government has been infamous for their secrecy and fear of revealing what goes on inside legislative chambers. Now, the legislature has finally moved into the digital age and everyone can see what goes on.

You can now view the House of Reps sessions online. Can you believe this? They are actually allowing everyday citizens view House sessions?! This baffles me after the long history of General Assembly secrecy. Maybe the state is making baby steps into the 20th century? Click here to check it out. Click on "House" then on "Video Streaming."

Represenative Stacey Campfield, a Republican from Knoxville, has started his blog. This isn't just any other blog, though. This guy actually posts the behind-the-scenes action of the legislature. It's quite interesting reading what actually goes on; the things that we don't read about in the newspaper. This has, of course, caused much controversy. Many fellow legislatures do not enjoy Rep. Campfield for his blatant revealing of House activies. Click here to check out his blog, Camp4u.

Dolly Fixes a Flat

As many of you know, I absolutely love Dolly Parton. I firmly believe that she is the queen of country music and the great state of Tennessee. I was sent this email today that I just thought was hiliarious (thanks mom)! This is how Dolly fixes a flat:

Monday, April 11, 2005

"Gloomy Bear"

Wouldn't this be great to give to your kid for their birthday?! I always wanted a bloody bear!


Or maybe your child would enjoy a sheep dressed as a wolf.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Feeling Formal


(yes, that is me in the middle) ;o)
Last night, I traveled to K-town for our school's spring formal. I must admit that I had a pretty good time (the girls win once again). We started out the evening by going to the Riverside Tavern to enjoy a nice dinner. I, of course, showed up fashionably late because I had dinner with my mom and some friends right before in Pigeon Forge. I wasn't that hungry either when I got there so I just ordered the New York Cheesecake. I figured it would be brought with everyone's food, but I was wrong. Everyone had been finished for a bit when it was brought out. The waiter apologized, though. What more can I ask? By the way, the fanciest dessert I've had in life. It was beautiful! After dinner, we moved on to Calhoun's (where the dance was being held). I once again show up fashionably late. I was driving by myself since I had to drive from Pigeon Forge. We get to the small parking lot and there are hardly any parking spaces. The rest of them find spots, but I have trouble. I circle around the lot like three or four times, and I didn't see any hope so I just left. I had to park all the way in downtown! The evening just didn't start out right! Well, I finally got to the place and there was hardly anyone there. But we started dancing anyway! I pride myself with the fact that I was the first guy on the dancefloor (*brushing shoulders*). I had a lot of fun, which is much different from my original thoughts on the matter. I had a feeling it would be a lot of like my prom. I would sit on the sidelines while others took part in sexual overtoned dances, which is one of the reasons that I didn't want to go to begin with. It was different, though. Yes, there was some of that but not with the group I was with. I just let my body go and didn't worry about what others thought about me. It so great and hilarious! I had such a great time! For the first time in a while, I didn't think about my problems; I was free! The world was great at that moment, and I enjoyed every minute of it! Sadly, the evening had to end, and it did very quickly too. We went and ate at the local hangout, Perkins. Once I returned to the dorm, though, things went back to normal. Thanks girls for getting me to go (even though I am the "weakest" ;o) )! By the way, I have better photos on the way once I get some from the others.

UPDATE
The online album is now available. Click here to view.

ANOTHER UPDATE
See what my friends had to say about formal at:
Beth's Daily Ramblings
Friendly Neighborhood Hobbit
Life of Lindsey

Friday, April 08, 2005

A Longer DST


My favorite time of the year might be extending its length pretty soon. Massachusetts congressman Ed Markey and Missouri congressman Fred Upton are proposing that we extend daylight savings time by two months. This would mean that it would begin on the first Sunday of March and end on the last Sunday of November. This change in policy would be included in an energy bill that Congress has put together and are to vote on soon. It is estimated that this would save the country much energy use and would drop a day's consumption of oil by 10,000 barrels during this time. My question is; when will me make the whole year daylight savings? If it lasted as long as it is proposed, that would mean only about three months out of the twelve that we would not have daylight savings. By the time Congress is over with, the sun will set at midnight! Fun fun!

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Drunk Dutch

Click here to try a fun game! Try to get this drunk, Dutch guy home safely. As he walks, try to keep him from falling over by using your mouse.



BY THE WAY...

...IT'S HOT OUTSIDE!

Eminem, the New Jesus?

Could it be true that figures much like Eminem and P Diddy are the new Messiah in today's society? This seems to be the case in my hometown. For over 50 years, our hometown radio station WEYE 104.3 (and WMCH 1260AM) has been the regional leader in "solid gospel" music, mainly because they were the only radio station that offered such format. Many Christians throughout the Tri-Cities area absoulutely adored WEYE and never listened to anything else, until now. A while back, the radio station went up for sale because of a lack of profit. An evil, Indiana businessman, named Alan Sneed, bought the much beloved station. What does he do to it? He turns into a rap/hip-hop format. How disgraceful! This 50 year old tradition is now down the drain. In response to criticism he said (according the Kingsport Times-News), "I program this station, and it's a format that's hot, and the area needs to acknowledge that." Well, thank you Mr. Sneed for telling us what's "hot" and what's not. Us hicks down in ol' Tennessee can't decide for ourselves what we like and don't like; we appreciate your lack of concern for the community's interest! The local Christian community is fighting back! A petition has been going around the Church Hill/Kingsport area that has generated over 5000 signatures in support of the old format. Another petition has started in Johnson City. We need to fight back and say that such a format is indeed profitable. It has been going strong for 50 years and only recently suffered financial problems (probably just poor management). Maybe the radio station should switch to a listener supported station like many Christian contemporary stations are. Even though I didn't listen to this station unless riding in the car with my mom, I still feel that an injustice has been done against my stomping grounds. All Christians, especially the ones in the Tri-Cities, should be outraged and fight against such evil forces that are at battle with us and all that we stand for.Click here to read the Kingsport Times-News article (free registration required); and here to read the Rogersville Review article.

READY TO GET INVOLVED?
Call WMCH Radio 1260AM at (423) 357-5601
Call the leader of the petition, Genesis Bookstore, at (423) 357-1332
Call the new "Hot 104.3" consumer line at (423) 723-6104

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Am I Normal?





You Are 40% Normal

(Somewhat Normal)









While some of your behavior is quite normal...

Other things you do are downright strange

You've got a little of your freak going on

But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself




I thought this quiz was cool; it's a great accomplishment to be only 40% normal.

History of My Love


(Warning: this is an in-depth look at my life. If you don't want to look at my inner-self, I would not recommend that you read this.)
My "love life" (I'm sure you're interested) has, shall I say, been lacking for much of my life. I remember when I was in elementary school (at least 4th grade) that I was constantly "going out" all the time. It was always between two different girls; I was either dating one or the other. It wasn't really anything big, but it was important to me at that moment of life. I was happy; I felt that I was wanted by others. Then, in 5th grade, a life changing moment occured. click here to read moreI gave my first kiss to someone outside my family. That great moment that most people treasure, I now dread and regret. This event received much attention from my small class of 15-20 kids. Everyone gathered around me and the girl and another two that were going to kiss too. The other two did it quickly and painlessly, but it was a different story for me. I didn't feel comfortable with everyone looking, and I didn't feel right doing it. My head was pushed by some of my friends to do it, and I did it to get out of this much uncomfortable position. Well, the next day, someone (who to this day I don't like that much) told the teacher on us. Apparently, this was shocking behavior to him and the school's guidance counsler. The girls were called into the counsler's room and us guys were called in after them. I was so nervous and felt that I had done something horrible. I can't remember exactly what she told us, but she informed us that this was unacceptable behavior and that we should never do it again at school. I was crushed! After she let us go, I ran to the bathroom and broke down in tears. I was so humiliated and embarrassed! This set the course of my "love life" through middle school and in high school. After that, I was embarrassed and ashamed to date anyone ever again, and I never did. I was lonely, though. I wanted what everyone else had; I wanted it dearly. I resisted, though. I felt so hurt inside. I wanted that feeling of acceptance again, but I never got it. I often held in my emotions, and I definitely never told anyone. That would only put more shame in my life. My mind shifted in middle school. I went from not wanting that companionship to thinking that no one wanted to ever think think me as a "boyfriend." My self-esteem then took a dive for the worse. I didn't like who I was, and I wanted to be anyone but me. I would break down in tears thinking that no one wanted me. Then, before I left for high school, I changed once again. I realized that this grief was not worth it. I realized that if people did not want me that was their problem, not mine. I was no longer going to break down in tears over others. I was going to be myself and not worry what people thought of me. I continued this thought throughout high school, but the loneliness and bad self-esteem never fully left me. I still desired that sense of companionship that many others enjoyed. I reasoned, though, that I was too busy trying to be successful in school to have an kind of relationship with a girl. I gave up the idea. So, I had two problems built up in my mind. I had a self-esteem issue that I really wasn't "dating material," and I ended up too busy to have any relationship like this. It wasn't like middle school, though. I wasn't in the constant depression (that most people never or rarely saw because I hid it very well), but I would get in these moods for a few days were I got so depressed that I was now in high school and never had any type of relationship since the 5th grade. After those few days, I would feel fine. So my life went into a cycle: I would be in bliss for a month or so then I would fall into the sadness of my life for a few days. I think one of the things that helped me the most was the great friendships that I formed in my school's Key Club (which is whole other topic to discuss another day). I still go through these moods. I feel so happy then I fall into this horrible state. I still wish from time-to-time that I had a strong relationship that I never had. This last week has been one of those times; I just wanted to be in love (or at least think that I was). It's a simple, natural desire that I think that everyone deserves. Life goes on, though. I just wait and pray that God sends me that perfect girl one day that I will fall absolutely in love with. By the way, that counselor no longer serves at that school.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Stuck in My Head

THE BLOWER'S DAUGHTER
BY DAMIEN RICE
This last week I watched the movie "Closer" with a bunch of my friends. I forgot hearing that this movie was the Julia Roberts porno. It was absolutely horrible. The producer really didn't show anything, but the language was terrible! I called it a "verbal porno." Well, anyway, to the point. This was the only good thing that came from watching this movie. This song was featured at the beginning and the end, and I love it! It is such a great song! The music definitely displays my mood right now in life. You should definitely check this one out.